So, Hunter and I are about at our ending point with the whole not sleeping through the night, needing to be put to sleep bit, we have been doing with Keeli. It is not even that I mind having to put her to sleep and then lay her down, even though I know she needs to learn how to sleep on her own, it is the WAY that we have to put her to sleep that kills us. We have to bounce her on an exercise ball, sometimes for like 30 minutes or more, and it is KILLING both of our backs! I can barely bend over anymore and Hunter already had a bad back.
And I know there are a million people that say "let her cry it out until she falls asleep." Well, it doesn't seem to be working and there hasn't been any change in the amount of time we have to let her cry, and she still won't fall asleep. Our pediatrician told us to not let her cry more than two hours, promising, almost, that before two hours was up, she would be asleep. But that is not the case. And my heart just hurts when she is screaming in the dark, by herself, and she doesn't understand why. It is just too much added stress.
So what I am asking is, is there anyone out there who taught their baby to sleep on their own without letting them cry themselves to sleep, night after night?? PLEASE!! ANY suggestions will be appreciated. ANY at all!!! We just don't know what to do anymore.
8 years ago
18 comments:
I got nothin, obviously, but you can bet I'll be taking notes on what people say.
Someone recommended a book called "The no-cry sleep solution" to me when I had Spencer. I used that with Spence and Babywise with McKay. Honestly, they both sleep really well, so I think either method works. But little babies are just such a mystery. If you're up for reading a book, either of those might be helpful. I'm all about learning from the "experts." Good luck. Your baby is BEAUTIFUL!!!
Cousin I also read a book called "The Sleep Lady" and she is not one for crying it out. I never really did it because I was a mean Mom and let Addi cry. But you might want to check that book out. She is about rocking them or whatever and then putting them down drowsy but awake and slowly phasing out the rocking. Hope something works!!
When Sara was 6 months old I read a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." I don't remember what exactly the book said, but after I read for a couple of days I said I had to do what it said. We had been putting her to bed at 8pm or so and it had been trauma. The book said to put her down at 6:30pm, which I thought was crazy, but I did it anyway and she was asleep in a heartbeat. I think the thing was that babies are harder to get to bed if they are overtired. We've always had the kid with the earliest bedtime, but she is a great sleeper to this day.
Oh Katie, I am so sorry. That is so hard. All of my kids have been really good sleepers, so I didn't really have this problem. My friend, however did, and she swears by the "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" book. I would look into that and good luck.
BTW-my email address is farroutinaz@att.net. Email me so we can catch up some more!
Oh man, I am so sorry about that! I went through almost the same thing with Sam, and I remember how awful it was! He was used to me rocking him to sleep and so I had to train him to go to sleep in his own in his crib. It was SO hard to let him cry...I had been told the same thing - not to let it go more than two hours....I got lucky though, and he never cried longer than about an hour - but it was the longest hour ever! And I stuck with it and then eventually he got it down. Sorry, I don't have any great advice to help!
I am one of those mommies who can't stand to not rock their babies. So I am no use here. But good luck!!!
I didn't use Babywise with Spencer because he was my first and I couldn't stand to let him cry it out. Unfortunately, McKay has to sleep in noise like piano lessons, large crowds, or at least Spence playing in the next room, so it was important to me that he be more flexible in his sleep patterns and where/when he slept. For my kids, routine seems important. We follow the same cycle almost everyday (get up, eat breakfast, dressed and chores, snack, naptime for McKay...etc.) I have found this helps because they know what's coming next. The no-cry sleep solution technique is about feeding them to sleep, which supposedly leads to over-weight babies. But look at McKay. He's a babywise baby and thriving. So, who knows? It's all such a guessing game, isn't it? Good luck. You're a great mom!
just a note... if you do a little research on the Babywise author, you'll find out that he's not a licensed anything, has no formal training, and he has been convicted of a felony. one of my friend out here went a little crazy and did a lot of research on every baby advice books' authors and ended up throwing that one out. so, yeah... but if i was in Colorado, i would totally babysit for you so you guys could have a nap.
I got BabyWise for Kylee and she sleeps really well. I didn't follow it exactly but the things I did like were to have routines and help them learn to fall asleep without a sleep aid. Kylee still has a binkie, but she sleeps really well. Something I did do when she was crying was go in every 10-15 min. and just comfort her...not pick her up, but just rub her back or consol her. Then slowly do less and less. Maybe one week just sit in a chair close to her crib so she knows you are there, then the next week move farther and farther out of the room. (I think I saw that on Dr. Phil or something:) Good luck!
I have found that when rocking my kids, right after they fall asleep in my arms I check to see if they are in a deep sleep by lifting one of their arms in the air and releasing to see if it just falls. If it does, then I just put them to bed. Timing is the key. You need to carry them to their beds quickly after they fall asleep as normally that is when they are in a deeper sleep. If you let them sleep in your lap for to long, once you stand up they are up! I am not sure if this will help you out, let me know..
Good Luck!
We did the cry it out solution with Katelyn. She did not sleep all the way through the night till she was 8 months. She was up every three hours untill 6 months and we slowly started weening out feedings. It was hard, but we were told from the beginning to not feed her or rock her to sleep. I was told to put her down drowsy, but awake so she could learn. We also had a set bedtime from the first few months that made it more routeen. Good luck! There are so many different ways to do it, it is just a matter of finding the right one that suits you. IT is hard, but it is worth your sanity in the long run. Good Luck!
I don't think I am much help I am a mean mom and let him cry no matter how long. The going in every like 10 to 20 min thing helped sam when he was younger for his naps since they were short and i went crazy so i did that and he would go back to sleep.
Ok Katie, I really am not going to be any help with this one. Let's just say all of my kids have slept with us and Mya still does. We love it, honestly it has to be something that works for the both of you and Jake and I are more comfortable with them there than not.
On that note I have never had to hear my baby just sit and cry because I turn over and plug in, but my sister went to a conference about separation anxiety and the like and the professor said NEVER let your baby cry more than 20 minutes, it releases a chemical in their brain that causes a coma like state. Ok that is not doctrine, but who wants to hear their sweet little baby cry more than that anyway, that just breaks my heart. They grow out of it and they are only small for such a short time. Good luck I guess, and let me know how it goes.
Courtney said, "The Baby Whisperer" worked for her. She says you put them in the crib and stay with them, pat them, comfort them until they stop fussing and then you stop immediately. If they start to fuss again, you comfort them. When they stop, you stop. And you just repeat that. It doesen't sound like that will work for your little angel however. "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" really is a miracle book. The best thing I learned from that is THE MORE THEY SLEEP THE MORE THEY WILL SLEEP. You let them sleep as much as they will during the day and you put them down before they start to get tired. This is a good book to look at because the best ideas are highlighted. You don't really have to read the whole book, just look at the highlighted parts.
Kate you are going to be such a know-it-all mom before you know it! Look at you getting all these comments and suggestions! Keep on it so you can answer my questions someday (and hopefully someday soon if I can get PG!) But anyway you wanted my cell #: 801-971-9315. PS Thanks for always reading my blog. It really makes me feel so good that anybody would actually be interesting in my ridiculous musings. Love you Kate!
No personal solutions but several of my friends feed their baby a little cereal (rice or other) in their bottle right before they go to bed. They say it helps them to no get hungry as fast. And then they just keep going in and putting them back down. Like putting the binkie back in and wrapping them up. They say finally the kids get so tired they just don't fight.
I'm probably not much help because I think I've had the two best sleepers in history, but this is what we do: I nurse Nate at about 9 PM (or a little later depending on my schedule) and after I put him in his crib drowsy, but not asleep. I usually get atleast 7-8 hours before he wakes up (and Olivia was the same). I still hold and rock him, but both my babies got used to putting themselves to sleep by themselves...I would have a hard time letting them cry it out if they did cry though! Good luck!
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