The Week Our Lives Changed. Again.

Okay, that sounds dramatic. But we have had a big change.
Well, it all started last Tuesday, March 1st. Hadlee was having serious constipation, which is nothing new for our sweet little one, but I was growing very tired of it. So I called to make an appointment with her doctor. I had mentioned it to him on two other occasions, that I didn't think it was normal for her to have so much trouble with it. But he always said not to worry that it could just be her body changing or whatever. Well, I had had enough. We saw him early Wednesday morning and he put Hadlee on a stool softener. It is a powder that has to be mixed in juice or water in order to take it. Which presented another problem, because Hadlee was refusing a bottle of any kind and pretty much had been her whole life. There were a few occasions where she would be tired or hungry enough to take one, but it was nothing we could count on. Also, turns out the girl hates juice. Warm, diluted, regular, HATES it. So we started mixing the powder and giving it to her like medicine in a syringe. Well, she literally choked it down while kicking and screaming. I did two days of that and had had enough. So on Friday, I went to Target and did something I didn't want to do. I invested in the same bottle system we HAD to use with Keelia. The only bottle/pacifier type my girls will take is Playtex latex and I was really trying to avoid it. Like if I didn't break down and buy that kind of bottle, I could avoid the truth of the matter. But I gave in.
So with the new bottle, she would suck on the nipple until she realized it was juice and then freak out. So I tried mixing the medicine in two ounces of formula mixed with juice. (SIDE NOTE-I kept pushing the juice in hopes that the juice would keep her regular and we would not have to depend on the stool softener for the rest of her babyhood.) Well she devoured it. And all the while kind of looking at me like "THAT'S IT?" I always tried to make sure she nursed before giving her the bottle, so that I could continue to nurse her long term. Well, that didn't last long. A little background...Hadlee nursed really well as a little newborn. But in the last month or so, it has become a bigger battle. Sometimes I could get her to nurse and other times, not so much. With that being said, she is no longer a nursing baby. It didn't take long for her to decide that she didn't want me to feed her anymore. She likes her bottle. And in all honesty, I am not in any pain. Which leads me to believe that I do not produce enough milk to sustain a life. Same thing with Keelia when she was little. She was basically starving to death by the time she was 4 months old, but I thought it was because of her reflux. With Hadlee her reflux was treated so much earlier that I can't blame it on that. So it must just be my body and how it works. Or doesn't work, in this case. And Hadlee cries less, and it has only been a few days. And she is keeping herself regular and seems to be an overall, happier baby. But I can't escape the guilt. I swear my heart breaks when she looks at me while I am feeding her like she is asking me why I gave up. And Keelia was bottle fed after four months of age and did fine. I know formula works, and is more than fine, but I deal with a little bit of feeling like a failure that I can't nurse my kiddos. Like with Keelia, I will get over it and I will be fine. But I do feel like I am giving up and taking the easy way out. But if it is best for her, than it is best for me. And I need to just keep telling myself that.
And I am pretty sure she has already gained weight. So I am certain, much like her big sister, she was starving, which is why she wasn't gaining weight. So I hope going on formula cures us from having to have surgery at the end of the month. But we have a weight check tomorrow, so only time will tell.
That being said, Keelia is enjoying the role of big sister a lot more now that she can feed Hadlee, too! Here are some pictures.

Also, over the last two weeks, whenever we eat around Hadlee, she tries with all her little might to will the food into her mouth too. I was trying to avoid starting her on solids until she was six months old, but I gave in today. She started fussing every time Hunter took a bite of his lunch. So I gave her pears. She has already had pear juice in her bottles, so I figured it was safe. And her pediatrician told me that fruits could help with her bowels and to not start with cereal because it could make the poop problem worse. So pears were a good place to start for us. Needless to say, she LOVED it. She would get mad at me that the spoon wasn't constantly putting food in her mouth. I am fairly certain she didn't actually eat much, but she was loving it. The whole process. And here are some pictures of that, too.

We had a big snow last night. It was pretty warm today, considering. But there is still a lot of snow out there to melt.
And please excuse me from any of the pictures I posted today. It's unusual and unfortunate for me to be caught on film.